There are just some things I don't understand. How can the sun just keep crawling, sparkling through the sky, and no one even can really look at it? Why are the evenings, when it's golden flames transform into the soft, yet stabbingly brilliant redness, so amazingly special? Who made that to be? Who invented manners? I asked myself today. I sometimes respect them, and other times am utterly irritated by them. Why are certain areas of your life so much harder to deal with and handle than others? What are the qualities in another person that make you attracted to them? Why are different personalities so much cooler than your own? What makes everyone else seem so content and fulfilled with their life while you still search for the meaning of your own? Is there a meaning? Perhaps what we search for is something that we never had to step one foot out the door for. Maybe it's a journey that we needn't begin, an unnecessary looking-for during life that only results in an eventual realization that what was searched for was only a figment of the imagination. Something to make our insignificant lives seem more valuable. Why do I have a desire inside me to visit every corner of the earth, when I clearly am aware that the earth is very round? What is so intriguing about everything but the "normal" route of life? So what if I want to smoke a cigar? I like the scenty sweetness of the whispy smoke. So what if I am tired all day cause I need like 15 hours of sleep every night to be happy? Who gives? Why do I give such a crap about my grades? How do the people who don't give a rip do it? What is their secret? How does one live every day to the fullest? Does it involve reading a good book and lying still and thinking every day? Is it in exploring and experimenting? Is it in girls or sports or food or travel? Is it different for every person? Every personality? Why do I ask all these dumb questions? I will never get answers unless I am the answer for myself. That is what I have determined. I just wanna be me. Really be me. Oh, one more thing. Why the hey can't I clearly portray my thoughts? What is with that?