1.7.10

It's already basically July.

Things at this camp have been weird sometimes.  I still feel like I'm just easing into something even though it's been almost four weeks that I've been here now.  It's like I'm getting into something that is going to last a long, long time.  Is that an indication of the work I'll get into in the future?

This week has been interesting, a story of its own.  These Japanese kids are so, so neat.  I got emotional a couple mornings ago when I was praying for them during my run.  They are so happy, and yet so easily hurt.  Today a couple of them got homesick and just cried for a while.  I wish I could hug them and tell them that we are doing super fun things tomorrow or that God will make it all better soon.  But I have a problem doing that.  I personally don't always think that the things they do here at camp are really all that fun.  And even if they are for the kids, they aren't usually for me (at least as much), so if I'm telling them it's super fun, then I feel like I'm straight up lying to them somehow.  I don't think many others would agree with me and I don't blame them.  I also have a hard time with the God making it better soon part.  First of all, none of these kids are Christian.  Not one.  So there's the first and most obvious difficulty.  The second is that I have a hard time telling someone that such and such will happen to them if it hasn't really happened to me first.  And frankly, God doesn't always seem to make things better, but to understand that that is okay takes many years of life and experience and growth and these kids only have a few hours with me.  What to do?  Tonight I just sat on the floor with them and let them talk to me.  It was nice to finally have kids talk to me.  I'm horrible at letting them do that.  Yujin blabbered away.  Takumi put tons of bandaids on himself.  Daiki and Hadetaka quietly watched and seemed to scheme about whatever it is they scheme about.  Koki sat hunched over, missing Mom and looking up with his little teary eyes once in a while.  Yosuke talked in his fragmented, speedy, lispy sentences while spurting around the room doing random things.  Yuto sat on his top bunk, probably folding all his clothes and putting thing away the whole time.  Aksute just somehow spent an hour getting absolutely nothing done, and then was willing to trade beds with Koki so that Koki could sleep closer to his buddy Yuto.  And meanwhile, Shahaar, the Israeli kid, lays quietly in bed for the first time all week, probably feeling a little left out amongst all the far-Eastern kids.   I guess being middle-Eastern just isn't quite cutting it anymore.  I feel for him.

I'm already burning myself out on pictures.  Stupid.  I'm too lazy and weirded out to go up front and try to take pictures of the kids during the worships and not getting many more original photos already is making things seem redundant or something.  Plus, teaching a class and having a cabin leave less time for pictures period.   It's been so interesting.  I'm coming to the point where I'm doubting that I will have much "internship" experience during these two months.  But I don't regret coming here.  Yet.  :)

My eyes feel as dry as Daiki said his lips were and the bugs are being really obnoxious.  I'm going to go take a shower and maybe shave.  Kristina might be fro-ing (?) my hair tomorrow.  Oh hurray.