I was just perusing my pals' blogs and enjoying their adventures, their struggles, their lives. My life is lame, I was thinking at one point. Then two minutes later, I realized that I am pretty normal and blessed as well. Then I realized that it all depends on who I'm listening to at the moment. I just need to listen to myself a little more often. That is, I should listen to what the positive part of me says. Most of me is negative, in my opinion :) so it's tough to hear that voice sometimes. But I do have a good life. God is merciful to me, despite my shortcomings. Which, I'm finding out, are way more and much more serious than I previously deemed possible. This is unfortunate, but while I could be discouraged with these thoughts, God is good and seems to be providing truths, reminders, and support when I need it. I'm no good at being "in tune" with my pitiful emotions, but I guess it's alright, because God seems to be taking care of that alright.
Sometimes I feel that I shouldn't talk about God. I don't really live too well for Him. My life doesn't stand out as one that exemplifies a Christian lifestyle, nor are my goals and motives and dreams focused much on God. In fact, unlike what most advice suggests (I believe), I don't really have that many of those things. I struggle with decisions like crazy and like aforementioned, am extremely fickle. If there was something good about doing whatever I saw anyone else doing at the time, I'd definitely succeed in that.
__In real life, I was looking for my FAFSA pin number today and couldn't find it. Crap. I hope I don't lose thousands of dollars just because I'm a lame organizor of really important small things. __I still haven't done hardly any of my homework tomorrow and it's already 11p. This may not seem too late to many, but for me it's pushing it. I like my sleep, but amn't disciplined enough to really get myself disciplined. Get it? I don't, but it's true. __We lost our hockey game tonight. I suck, but it was fun. Matt Turk is the man for letting me play on his team. He's a good guy. I love Jeff's crazy hustle. Wow. If only I had like 2% of that junk... __We talked some tonight about a road trip Ben wants to do. I don't know if I will. I think I'd be more of a pain and be getting more frustrated than doing any good. We'll see. __Bed time is here. Showering is obligatory tonight. As is waking up early to finish my Chemistry (slash start it...) and try to do some Hebrew. Shucks.
Life, I guess.
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