Then I realized I put the word hate in there because I hated them for doing it. Maybe they they were doing it for reasons they felt were noble. Or maybe they did hate. Regardless, I find myself believing that with the right amount of time, and the right (i.e. wrong) circumstances and environment, I could eventually do something just as treacherous and evil, hate having nothing to do with it.
I feel pretty confident that won't happen. But honestly, I'm curious about it. How long would it take for me to change? Is it even a change—or more of a gradual deterioration? Could I become that person in the environment I'm currently in, perhaps by intentionally focusing on changing my ideas and thoughts? I bet it could happen quickly, especially if circumstances were to suddenly change.
I've heard the opposite is true, too. That I could become a better person. But I've seen that that kind of change in myself can't happen suddenly, no matter what. I am more naturally evil than I am good, because I am alive to survive.
For the next few weeks I'm sure I'll see and hear a lot more about September 11—a decade later. It is the closest thing I relate to "being a part of history" that I have in my life. I saw that happening on TV. I lived through the political and economical effects of it. Now I see the visual memories of it.
(Screen capture of one of the gallery's photos) |
What are the decadal memories of me? Do clear mental images also tip the scales toward hatred and anger?
Yes. Unfortunately, yes... Cue political and economical effects.