But they weren't learning to teach themselves.
That was my next thought. And it had never occurred to me before. I realized I have been trying to get them to be self-sufficient as far as learning English was concerned. I was trying to provide them with websites and ideas that they could use to further their own learning. It was the whole point of encouraging vocabulary notebooks, of pushing Eng-Span dictionaries, of making them worksheets that they can practice on and then keep, of not writing up my notes and printing them or putting them on PowerPoint. I want them to listen to English songs, watch English movies, read English news and books, discover blogs, practice, repeat, practice their grammar, note new words they hear and look them up later, go back and review the words and definitions they write down, study their notes later. Not rely on me to feed them. I won't be here forever.*
I wondered, then, how many teachers gave up on me because I never learned to teach myself. Or how many teachers never even were aware that I didn't know how? That I still don't. People ask, Do you ever want to learn a new language? What am I supposed to say—no?? Of course I do! But do I? No. Do I want to learn how to maintain a car? Yes. But no. Do I want to learn accounting things? How to take care of a budget? How to do my taxes and insurance and all that crap? Yes. But... no, again.
I don't teach myself, either.
And that's the kind of life that lets you tell yourself you could sleep for three months and not miss a thing. But sleeping... it's so... dreamy. Do I want to wake up? Do I have to wake up for dreams to come true? Is it true irony when one's dream is to keep sleeping? I guess I should get back to work—I have to go teach.
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| a month ago |