I'm a sucker

I went running for the first time in a long time, this morning.  I suppose it was the first time in 2010, too.  And the first time in my last semester of undergrad.  And the first time today.  And the first time this week. And the first time...

I'm already starting my semester off on the run.  But instead of being ahead of the pack, I'm trying to catch up already.  Ironically, it's when I need to run the fastest that I get the most paralyzed.  I don't know what to do about my Advanced Reporting beat.  I suck at choosing stuff like that.  It shouldn't be a big deal.  But I want my beat to be something that I will actually enjoy putting the effort toward, instead of dreading every moment of it.  But, having never done anything like choose a beat in Chattanooga (aka:  unaffiliated with SDAs or Southern), I have no idea what I would enjoy.  While we went over preliminary (slash final) ideas in class the other day, most of the class had chosen nice organizations that help people.  I think that's a great idea.  But they're all doing it and that's the main reason why I wouldn't want to.  I finally just let my fingers blurt out "music in Chattanooga" when I quickly typed up my chosen beat before class.  Way too broad and way too lame, that idea was.  I admitted it in class and in typical Ms. Chamberlain fashion, she was like, "Uh-huh."  Think eyebrows raised in a "ya think?" expression with an ever-so-slight tilt of the head and the emission of some sort of indescribable, tasteless, odorless, invisible taunting of "you suck" along with it.  OK, that's a little far.  But I felt like an idiot.

Oh my.  What to do.  I don't mind calling people very much, although it scares the crap out of me.  I don't mind doing interviews very much, although I don't consider myself a very proficient interviewer.  And I certainly don't mind researching or writing.  But these kind of, make-decisions-that-affect-your-ENTIRE-semester-within-the-first-two-days-of-class forced decisions irk me.  They're the kind of requirements that I feel ought to be fed to us toward the end of the semester, after we've experienced and learned the necessary things to prepare us to make the decisions.  Obviously, however, that kind of plan would have its problems.  Needless to say, I feel like I'm running hard behind the pack and slowing.  They're cheerily loping ahead, distancing themselves from the paralyzed deer behind them who's caught in the oncoming slaughter of decision's high beams.